One day

Day one taught us the importance of one day. We have a travel saga to share for sure, but that can happen in the trip recap after we get home. This morning around 9:30 we walked into an orphanage for this first time in our lives, and we will never be the same. We knew this trip and this day in particular would be life-changing, but we didn't know how it would feel. As soon as we walked in, my nerves calmed down because the wait (this wait, at least) was finally over. A man led us to a small bright room at the end of the entry hallway where we would sit and wait to meet our future daughter. With us was Maggie (Miglena), our very helpful facilitator/translator who has not left our side since meeting us at the airport on Sunday afternoon. We were greeted by someone who told us that K would be brought in soon. Soon we heard the pitter patter of little feet, and in she came, wearing a red turtleneck and looking fairly frantic, confused and disturbed. This was probably the first day in her life that her normal, monotonous, unstimulating daily routine had been disturbed, with the possible exception of times of illness that have landed her in the hospital or the quarantine room. She did not want to come into the room and could not slow down or stop moving long enough to make eye contact with us, so we followed her out into the hall where she grabbed a wheelchair, started playing with the wheels, and then jumped in for Maggie to push her. We walked the halls for a little while, trying to get her attention with toys we had brought, but what ultimately did it was the iPad. We pulled out this secret weapon and, much to her astonishment, showed her...herself. The camera feature was fascinating to her, but she was still confused and expressionless, avoiding eye contact. She hopped back into her wheelchair and as I knelt in front of her with my hands on her, I started singing "Jesus Loves Me." Hearing those words ring through the silent gray and yellow halls of her orphanage was powerful. She snapped her head up and looked into my eyes for the first time, and stayed locked in until the song ended. This was the beginning of the beginning for us all. We made our way back to the small visiting room where this time she was willing to go in with us. Secret weapon #2: goldfish crackers. She had opened up to holding my hands and looking into my eyes, but was more cautious with Mason. She began to trust him a little bit when he started feeding her goldfish. Probably the first of her life, she loved them, and I knew she would because this bag mysteriously ended up in my commissary cart on my last shopping trip. I didn't need them at our house and figured God was setting us up with something we'd need for her. Secret weapon #3 (weapons used to break down her walls in order to start building her up): water. Her lips were parched, partly from the dry cold air and partly from the inaccessibility of drinking water except for prescribed times of day, and she drank it eagerly from the water bottle Mason held. For the rest of the morning visit, we mimicked her actions and words (knocking on toys, clicking shoes together, clicking our tongues, smelling things, babbling) knowing that this is a critical step of development that she missed about 6 years ago. She had no adoring momma to mimic her coos while gazing into her eyes, as we still enjoy doing with sweet Isaiah (miss you buddy!). She held both of our hands, looked intently in our eyes, smiled, and tried to giggle - possibly for the first time, we can't know, but it seemed to us that she was unsure whether she was giggling or crying. It appeared to be a foreign experience to her. Well, we were allowed to stay about 2 hours and then had to leave. We were invited (or Maggie may have taken the liberty of inviting us; she is a fierce child advocate) back after 330, when nap time ends. We walked the mile to the orphanage from the hotel (we had taken a taxi in the morning) eager to see her again. This time she strolled confidently into the little yellow room, held my hands and looked into my eyes. Such gorgeous, deep brown eyes! We sat on the floor and played together, but when Mason gently approached her she would move away and show resistance. Well, that was soon to change! It was so beautiful and amazing that I can hardly even recount how it happened, but by the end of the second visit K was full out BELLY LAUGHING playing with Daddy, kissing him on the cheek, and mimicking his every move. This girl is smart, joyful, and brave...so brave. Her only special need that we can see is complete deprivation of loving one on one attention. And this is perhaps the most debilitating special need of all. During the morning visit her gaze would easily fall and she'd zone out. During the second visit it didn't happen once. She shocked us all when she called out, clear as a bell, "Tate!" (Ta-tee = Daddy). He picked her up and spun her around, rocking her while she giggled with glee. Her smile changes her face entirely and lights up our hearts, not to mention the room. She has a precious dimple in her left cheek that may have made its first ever appearance today. The thought of leaving Friday is getting harder each moment, but made easier as we long to love on our other 3, return to our familiar language and culture, and push through the next pile of paperwork. The truth is that Ezekiel, Eden and Isaiah do not need us as desperately as Kami does this week. They are generously sacrificing a week with us so we can set the process rolling to bring her home. The second trip this summer will be 12 days but we will cross that bridge when we come to it. It is so strange to have children spread across the world...but I know God has ordained this, and I will always remember what I witnessed today. Seeing K open up to Mason was like seeing a person open their heart to the love of the Father, becoming a new creation and overflowing with the joy of new life. We wish we could bring her home with us this week, but we will have to be patient for legal matters to proceed and in the meantime continue to cover her with prayer. She is now familiar with Isaiah's two favorite albums, Baby Bible Songs and Sleepytime Lullabies, which are loaded with Scriptural truths that fell fresh into her hears today. We pray that they will settle in her heart and she will know that angels are watching over her all night and all day, that God made her, that Jesus loves her, and that her parents find her precious. These are all self evident truths in our home, but not to precious K and the other children around the world in her situation. Friends, the situation in her home country is tragic. I will share more about that in person and later on. Mason and I will never be the way we were before seeing and understanding the things of this trip. Please continue praying for her! When we work, we work, but when we pray GOD works. He is doing a mighty thing in her, and we will need to trust Him completely to finish what He's begun this week.