We're coming up on 18 months since Kami's adoption. Although we didn't pick her up until July 28, 2014, she became our daughter legally on June 17, 2014. Every 6 months for the first 2 years, Bulgaria needs a standard report on how she is doing. This report time always ends up being a time of collecting the best, most representative photos to send to Bulgaria, and I enjoy sharing them with you as a monument of how far she's come by God's grace.
Today I e-mailed 12 photos to our agency. They require at least 8 photos, with 1 being a family photo. As always, the family photo is the trickiest to get and the most haphazard-looking one; but I am very pleased with the abundance of good photos I found this time. For the first and second reports, it seemed quite difficult to find enough photos with Kami either making a pleasant expression or assuming a halfway normal posture. This time around, I sent more than the minimum amount of photos required because there were too many good ones to choose from. To God be the glory for that delightful predicament!
Today I also celebrated the second smoothly flowing day in a row with Kami. Yes, you got it right, I said second. The past few weeks have been rough. There's been lots of mourning, isolation and confusion for her, and some of the same for me. The only one of those three that I think translated to Mason was the confusion. This was evident during our post-placement visit, where we realized that we were giving different answers and perceptions regarding Kami because he spends very little time with her in comparison to the full days I spend with her. (What's a hard-working husband and dad to do when asked specific questions about a child that he doesn't exactly know the answer to? It wasn't the most comfortable position for him!)
Oh, yes, and that reminds me - remember that letter I wrote to her about sending her to school? It's probably good she can't yet read it - we changed our minds. I know, it's just one surprise after another around here. We got excited, and prayed, and got more excited, and I made many phone calls, and visited a school, and collected paperwork, and then - God closed a door. And then I realized that I didn't really know if it would be the right decision, and that unless I knew, I couldn't do it. And then I realized that I would lose a lot of freedom, although it was for that very idea of freedom that I wanted to send her to school. I would have to drop her off and pick her up every day, rearranging our entire schedule around her school day. Then it was with complete shock that I realized I would not actually get to choose which days I wanted to send her - I'd have to send her every day, and couldn't just pull her out for a vacation or for a day at Disney. I know, it's very obvious that this is a homeschooler talking right now; but that's just a lot of freedom that we would lose as a family. Gradually it seemed to rise as higher in importance to maintain our family's flexibility than to gain a regular break from parenting duties. That is, in fact, what I was looking for: a way to get a consistent break.
Interestingly it was partially her streaks of intensely bad behavior that showed me that institutional school could not possibly be the answer for her right now. How could an institutional setting help her with these poor behaviors? The teacher would know nothing of what I know regarding her past and her needs and would also be powerless to discipline her effectively. The progress we've made over the past year and a half has been astounding, but it's still lurching. Instead of the typical one step forward, two steps back, it seems some weeks like one step forward, one mile back; then the very next week it feels like ten miles forward, two steps back. One of my first entries after pickup in Bulgaria was about the push/pull of our relationship. The push/pull is very much still in effect. Adoptive parenting seems like a tenuous, volatile, dynamic dance where things can be going great until one wrong step, which throws everything into a quick and sometimes catastrophic downward spiral. If there's one thing she needs right now, it's constant training. At her most difficult times, such as the ones we've walked through the past few weeks, she'd be a significant distraction and unfortunately a detraction for the rest of the class. I would also be unable to be an involved classroom mom due to my homeschooling duties for my other three. Yes, sometimes I want to escape, but there has to be a healthier way to do it. So as of now, we are pursuing a grant called the PLSA that would provide us with funds to pursue top-notch private therapy for her. The value of a caring, trained professional to come alongside us and "co-teach" her with us is huge. So we are praying that we receive this grant and are able to hire a new helper for her and us!
Without further ado, here are some of our 18-month post adoption report photos. Celebrate with us, as I know you will do when you see these photos, and please continue to pray with us for continued healing and wisdom!
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| Like I said, the family pics are the most haphazard. One day we might try to get some professional ones taken. (No offense Sarah; you did a great job with what you had!) |
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| (Ahem, I did not dress Eden this day. She picked every part of that outfit on her own.) |
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| I forgot to include this one in the report to Bulgaria, but it's one of my absolute favorites of Kami! It was her first time at the beach. The image brings me back to the same verse that I've written here so many times, one of the many verses she knows by heart; the verse that characterizes this entire plan God has to save her and to save all of us who will believe - Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come. 2 Corinthians 5:17 |
1 comment:
She looks like she fits in perfectly with your family...and even resembles your oldest boy a bit. We continue to lift you up! (From Angie)
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