Isaiah's birth story

Ever since my "conversion" to natural birthing I've been a birth story junkie, so with great excitement I'm celebrating Isaiah's 1 month birthday by sharing the details of his arrival into our family! 

I started noticing contractions on Monday, February 4. The previous night the four us had all gone to a Super Bowl party with our church friends, and at just 38 weeks I was fully expecting to have another 2 weeks of pregnancy ahead. When I woke up on Monday there was bloody show, and with my first two babies that meant it was showtime and I gave birth the same day. I already had an OB appointment scheduled for that morning, but called them to let them know that I might be in early labor and I wasn't sure I would be able to make it to my appointment on time with both kids in tow. I was experiencing some mild contractions (as well as anxiety of a not-so-mild nature) and moving around very slowly. But the nurse urged me to come in and get checked out, so although I was annoyed and really just wanted to skip the appointment, I went. The cervical check was fruitless as I expected, since the exam was so painful I could hardly stand it and once Dr. Tynes found my cervix she said it was too mushy to tell how dilated I was. (I really dislike cervical exams. Babies come when they are ready, and I had already declined them for 2 weeks but figured with the contractions I might as well see if they could tell me anything. It was not worth the pain. Cervical checks to note progress during labor are much more comfortable and helpful than the ones done routinely at OB appointments. Anyway.) The mushiness was definitely an indication that my body was near ready, but my cervix was still posterior so all she could tell me was that I was not in active labor - which I already knew.

There was a baby shower on Monday night that I wanted to buy a gift for, so I took Ezekiel and Eden to Target with me after the appointment. After loading them up in the double stroller and gingerly pushing my large load through the parking lot, it didn't take long to realize I wouldn't make it to the back of the store where the baby section was, so I hobbled/limped/shuffled over to pick up a gift card. At checkout I happened to run into a friend, which was a blessing because I was kind of freaking out and able to share with her that I was really scared this time, which was scaring me in itself because this was my 3rd child and I should NOT be scared. She has a few children herself and succeeded in calmly reassuring me that I would be fine, and that 38 weeks was in fact NOT too early to give birth (I was sure that there was something wrong with being in labor this early because my other two came within a couple days of their due date). I was very encouraged to run into this friend because it momentarily snapped me out of my very anxious little world. 

Mason knew what was going on that day and removed himself from a flight that week because it's not a good idea to be in the air when your wife might be in labor. Things didn't progress on Monday, and even though I was still contracting irregularly all day I went to the baby shower that night. The contractions were milder when I sat down, so I remained seated most of the night but shared with my friends what was going on and they noted that 1) my belly looked very tight and 2) I looked "tan," which is something that's never said to me, so I took a look in the mirror and noticed a nice dark pink/red flush to my skin which tipped me off that this was definitely early labor. NOTHING about this labor was like my previous two, because early labor would go on for 5 days this time.

Every day that week was the same, more bloody show and more mild contractions. We came down with a bad family cold that week, but I was grateful that our friend Ellyn was still willing to have an (outdoor) playdate with us that Thursday. It helped get my mind off the craziness and into the outside world. The next day we were supposed to have our final playdate with another good friend Ellen, who was about to move up north, but we had to cancel because by that point both Ezekiel and Eden had fevers and coughs. Eden had been the first to come down with the virus and was feeling a little better, which is the only reason I can think of that we decided to head out for dinner at Chick-fil-a Friday evening. Maybe I just needed to get out of the house. We left around 5 pm, and as Mason backed us out of the driveway I started to cry and said to him, "I just don't know how we're going to do this if tonight is the night, but I trust God that He knows what He's doing." As we drove to dinner the contractions were coming 7 minutes apart and I started to realize that this was really going to happen whether or not we were ready. The whole day and week I had been keeping my mom updated on everything, and we knew that she may not make it in time for the birth. That morning our friend Jill had texted to let me know that she and her husband had packed overnight bags just in case we'd need their help that weekend. This was an amazing provision from God because I don't think I ever asked her to do anything of the sort, though I did ask if I could put her on my emergency call list. I stayed in the car at Chick-fil-a timing contractions and texting my mom, our doula Pam, Jill, and another friend Crystal who was "on call" for that night. People pulled in and parked to my right and left and glanced through the window at me, and I thought to myself that I didn't want them to know by looking at me that I was in labor. I was trying to look cool but highly doubt it worked. Ezekiel had a fit for Mason inside the restaurant because he was feeling so rotten, so the 3 of them shortly came back to the car with dinner to bring home. 

While Mason bathed Ezekiel, I sat at the table eating with Eden breathing through early labor. I thought it was really special to share those moments with our only daughter! Mason put Ezekiel to bed at 6:30 (2 hours earlier than normal because he was sick) and then he started watching "Beauty and the Beast" with Eden while I busied myself doing who knows what in the kitchen between contractions. I told Mason that at some point he was going to have to start paying attention to the fact that I was in labor (I think this was me getting a little snappy and self-centered, typical of a laboring woman). I went to take a shower and prayed for God to show me when to call Jill over to start her night watch with the older kids. Right after praying that, I felt a much different BIG contraction there in the shower and halted my washing regimen to get out and call Jill. The main reason we had hired a doula was to help us decide when to go to the hospital, but it turned out that Pam was already at the hospital with another laboring mom so she was unable to come to our house. This was a bit unnerving because it would be just Mason and me deciding when to go, taking into mind our sick toddlers at home! Pam offered to send another doula over but I wasn't in the mood to make a new friend at this point. Mason put Eden to bed while our friends Jill and Dan, who arrived about 15 minutes after I called them, sat in our living room watching Netflix. They are so cool for doing that. I labored alone in our bedroom, which was just fine with me. I had alot to think about! I came out to the kitchen to get some red raspberry leaf tea, which I had hoped to save for my mom's arrival the next week, but at this point figured that the ball was already rolling and I'd might as well help it roll faster. I laid down on the bed listening to my iPod (Aaron Shust's "This is What We Believe" album greatly encouraged me through contractions, which were still coming about 6-7 minutes apart) and also sat on the exercise ball for a bit, but my favorite position was leaning against the bathroom sink rocking back and forth singing my birth song (aka moaning). I tried to keep quiet so as not to alarm our friends in the living room. They had actually just finished the birth documentary "The Business of Being Born" before coming over, which they would have watched regardless of whether or not they were helping us that Friday night because they just like birth documentaries. They were the perfect people to help out with our almost-at-home birth! 

The whole labor experience at our house, which we had only lived in for 1 month, was crazy, vibrant, scary and peaceful all at once. Again, nothing was going as planned, but God was making it clearly evident that we were not alone in this; He was present and guiding our decisions. As contractions became closer together, 3-5 minutes apart, Mason and I started to consider going to the hospital. I have a habit of being in denial during pregnancy and labor, and even with intense waves coming closer together, I still didn't feel sure we'd have Isaiah that night! We prayed and kept texting Pam. When she messaged that we should think about making our way over to the hospital, we quickly loaded up and left at about 10:15 pm and arrived about 10:30. On the way there, my labor pretty much completely stopped. I don't recall having any contractions as Mason calmly drove us over. I told him that I'd be embarrassed to find out I was only 2-3 centimeters. Envisioning a letdown, we parked and walked in to the first floor labor and delivery unit of Highland Clinic, where a nurse named Janice stood directing us into the first room on the right (Pam had told them we were coming). It was small, I thought. At first I didn't like Janice because she pulled the sheets on the bed back as if I were going to get in and stay in. I explained to her that I had been laboring all evening but didn't know if I would be 2 cm or 7 cm or somewhere in between and made it clear that we would be going back home if still in early labor. When she checked and said we were 7-8 cm dilated, I realized we would not be leaving the hospital without our baby in our arms. I remembered that this was about the point we had gotten to the hospital with Eden and she was born within a couple of hours. So we labored on, Mason and I. Janice hooked me up to the fetal heart rate monitor for a few minutes, which made me nervous at first because those things aren't always accurate, but thankfully it was picking up good numbers for Isaiah and she removed it as soon as she had a good strip. Even while hooked up to the monitor, which is just a band and a sensor around the belly, we were able to stand next to the bed dancing. The way I enjoyed labor with both Eden and Isaiah was standing facing Mason with my arms around his neck, dropping down to kind of hang on him when I needed to. In addition to dancing I was also singing/moaning my way through each contraction, so there was just a whole lot of dancing and singing going on! With only the heparin lock (open vein for an IV, not connected to anything), it was great to have freedom of movement because both sitting and lying down were very painful. Standing was not. Pam arrived and told me that Janice was one of her favorite nurses, which now I could see because by this point I decided I liked her after all. In between contractions I enjoyed talking with the nurses, Pam, Mason, and Dr. Tynes as she popped in and out. Dr. Tynes told me at my last birth and she and Pam reiterated at this one that it is very weird for women to act like this when they're close to fully dilated, but between contractions I would carry on normal lucid conversations with everyone. I got tired of standing and dancing (it was near midnight by this point and we had already had a few sleepless nights from the sickness going around our house), so I knelt by the bed to finish up the trip to fully dilated. Pam asked if she could take a video of me on her phone to show in her childbirth education classes. Apparently she really liked my singing.

I was very scared of pushing because it's the only part I find painful, and as we neared what was in my mind the point of no return, I had to rely on God and choose His strength and courage over my fear in order to get the job done. After living in a pregnant state for close to a year it's strange to see it end all of a sudden with a child in my arms, and this is another thought that kept me from wanting to move forward. Mason and Pam encouraged me that no matter how difficult it would be, it would only last for a few minutes. For me pushing doesn't come naturally, and with 3 babies I have never felt an urge to push (except maybe with Ezekiel, but he was an epidural birth and all the sensations were very hazy/foggy both at the time and in my memory). With Isaiah, as with Eden, I had to ask Dr. Tynes to break my water to get the show on the road, as my bag of waters has never broken spontaneously - my body produces very tenacious bags! I usually prefer the natural way, but I could have been sitting there all night and all next day fully dilated, waiting for my body to be ready for Isaiah to come out, possibly still in his amniotic sac. Mason and Pam continued to encourage me to face my fear, and we finally made the call to break the bag. Thinking about Ezekiel and Eden helped me want to finish this sooner rather than later so that Mason could get home to them before they woke up Saturday morning. When the doctor broke my water, she was uncertain as to whether there was a slight tinge of meconium, but nobody made a big deal out of it so I didn't worry. Suddenly it was time to push - bright lights, protective clothing donned by nurses and doctor - why was everyone getting prepped for a delivery? Yes, I still thought this. D-E-N-I-A-L! I felt no urge to push, again, but I wanted to try pushing kneeling on the bed. This was an epic fail and a waste of time. There was lots of noise from me but no action, and I knew after a few minutes that I needed to fall back on the tried and true side-lying position that worked like a charm with Eden. I should have just done that first. I could hardly feel the contractions at this stage but I tried to push with them. I felt Isaiah glide into the birth canal, heard he had a ton of hair, and then it got crazy. It felt like he had 5 heads, and each time I thought he was out I was wrong - it seemed he took minutes rather than seconds to slide out. This is the only part of the entire labor and delivery experience I consider painful. It was incredibly intense, and everything felt tight and burning hot but I was relieved in the midst of it as I knew this was the climax of the experience and that right when it felt unbearable, the birth would be complete. And it was complete at 12:54 am on Saturday, February 9. He was 9 pounds 1 oz, and by the grace of God (I prayed this specifically) I suffered no tearing. 

I definitely bled more with Isaiah than with Eden, and also part of his amniotic membrane got stuck inside me. Pam had never seen this before in all her years of attending births, so that was weird. Looking back on my 3 births, Eden's was the easiest. Everything about Eden is a delight, as her name means, so this doesn't surprise me. Labor, delivery, nursing, weight gain/loss, sleeping - she was the easiest. I think Isaiah was the hardest, but probably due to the circumstances surrounding his pregnancy and birth - a surprise to begin with, we were all sick when he was born, and there was no family in town, to name a few of the relative difficulties! So although we were relieved and above all grateful to God for bringing Isaiah out of my womb, we also knew it was the start of a new kind of work. Mason went home around 5 am and I tried to rest alone in the room for a few hours. It was not restful at all! After the circumcision (we chose to do it with both our sons, but in retrospect I am not sure we would choose to go that route again) we went home. We couldn't get there soon enough. Going home on his birthday felt wonderful. Mason had brought Ezekiel and Eden to the hospital once early in the day to meet their little brother, and then they came back later to pick us up. 

Once home, I felt overwhelmed and the postpartum tears flowed freely! The first nights home were a blur, partly due to my horrible cough and the special first-time experience of throwing up while nursing a newborn. The next night, Sunday, I took Isaiah to a going away party for our dear friends the Kehs (we wanted to host but had to back out), and then Monday night I took a solo trip to the ER for calf pain (turns out all that labor dancing had seriously pulled a muscle that happened to be in the place where pain can signal a postpartum blood clot). As it would happen, my milk started to come in while I was at the ER. My mom arrived Wednesday and there was much rejoicing at this. On Friday I got antibiotics for my double ear infection and sinus infection. With great difficulty, lots of tears, and lots of prayer I coped with postpartum emotions and hormones, my recovering body and our adjusting marriage. Here was this adorable, helpless, unexpected person in our house. I found myself thinking about adoption in a new light as I cared for this tiny little guy whose only hope in the world was me. To be denied the right to unconditional maternal love is an injustice no newborn should experience, but they do every day, and I thought of this often. Only I can feed him, protect him and love him the way he needs to be loved. 

Everything is different this time, I found myself saying and thinking repeatedly. Then Isaiah got sick, and through the fear, tears, trust, prayer, and treatment, we learned. God wasn't asleep when He let our whole family of four fall ill with the worst virus of the year right before Isaiah was born, and He wasn't asleep when Isaiah caught the virus and was admitted to the children's hospital at 12 days old. He taught us things in that hospital room that we never would have learned outside of it. The LORD saves, and that is already the theme of our precious 3rd child's life. Isaiah is healthy, home, well over 10 pounds and over 23 inches long as we celebrate his one month of life outside the womb. 

I am grateful to have experienced a second natural birth and cannot imagine how much more difficult/impossible the postpartum period would have seemed had I endured a surgical birth or anything requiring significant recovery. Recovering from the cold virus was harder than recovering from this birth. I am still a natural birth junkie, but I now look forward to reading others' stories rather than writing any more of my own! :)