Ezekiel - can often be heard saying things to us like "she doesn't like that," "stop it", or "let her be!" He always takes the high road with her and will go to almost any length to keep Kami calm. At the table, he's quick to notify us when she says polite words and what she's requesting. If there is one oreo left and she says "cookie peas", he willingly hands it over. She is generally careful and gentle with toys, but when she decides to dismantle his train track he says "Thanks Kami! It's ok, I was done with it anyway." When she first came home, he was obviously disturbed by her wild tantrums (we all were) and remarks frequently that she's having fewer fits. He likes the sound of her laugh and approaches her to engage her by tickling or bouncing her on the bed when he can tell she's in a good mood. He enjoys giving her things that she wants and acting like her big brother. Though she is older, he is bigger and wiser and in every other way fills the big brother role. He wants to sit next to her at the table. Now that we're home, Ezekiel seems fascinated by this opportunity to hear and see Kami learn to speak English. He is a very oral/auditory person; you may not guess this from his reserved nature, but he can do spot-on vocal impressions of all of his friends (he's the kind of person who is a hoot to the few people who are privileged to know him closely!). He has a good time mirroring Kami's words and songs, laughing at how they sound and enjoying the reaction he gets from me and Mason. He enjoys reinforcing new words with her. He's excited to note her progress and usually appears concerned when she's upset or he senses that we are upset with her. He asks what happened and wants to be in on everything. He has found very gentle and kind ways of setting some special toys off limits from her and appreciates the fact that I enforce this. He has gotten noticeably more cuddly since coming home, and I am soaking up every moment of that.
Eden - has set off a Kami tantrum at least once by snatching a toy away. Was initially very scared by Kami's screaming but now doesn't pay much attention to it at all. When Eden sees her sitting on a bed alone, she likes to jump up and tickle her or do physical play with her (touch her face, hair, etc., wrestle). She also likes to be near Kami at the table and enjoys helping to teach her things, like drink through a straw (which she hasn't yet achieved) or give her food that she likes. Initially Eden's reaction to meeting her new sister was very loving and adorable at the airport. By now she has figured out that it will not be an overnight transformation to a normal sister relationship, but Eden keeps plugging along and accepting her as she is, celebrating her accomplishments. Now that we're home, Eden frequently positions herself in close proximity to her new sister while she plays, but they're doing very different activities. I'm sure Eden will celebrate the day when Kami has the understanding to join in on her games! She acts peaceful and unruffled, especially considering the fact that she's temporarily given over her room to Kami and is rooming with big brother. She's definitely enjoying the suddenly doubled selection of girly clothes in the closet! She's sweet, caring, accepting and helpful. Sometimes she wants to help more than I need her to! - for example, handing Kami her potty treat when I need to reinforce the reward with eye contact and physically handing it to her, or getting her food from the pantry when it's not snack time (as you may be able to imagine, food is an issue with Kami). Eden's helpful heart is precious, and it's incredible to watch this extraordinarily well loved three-year-old help her previously neglected seven-year-old sister put on her shoes.
Isaiah - is excited to see her on the air mattress in the living room first thing every morning. He jumps right on and looks ready to play. He doesn't mind when she messes with his diaper and belly (she hasn't seen many naked babies running around). He likes to steal her food and bother her by pushing her off her chair, which makes her cry like a baby. I have definitely seen his bully side for the first time, but most of the time he likes to give back what he took after he gets a reaction from her. He is also very sweet, willing and ready to engage anytime. Now that we're home: Isaiah is never bothered by Kami's presence and instead seeks it out (he loves people, even ones that act weird by our standards!). He's still excited to see her in the morning, says her name (the cutest little "Ga-mee" I have ever heard), and still enjoys nabbing her toys and food and running. He has shown only minimal jealousy, probably because he is still treated like the baby and I don't often pick her up. They do parallel play since both enjoy toddling around and exploring. He has grown much closer to Eden and Ezekiel since we went to get Kami, partially because of our two week absence but also because he has become a super fun playmate for them. He and Ezekiel have a special brother bond, and it's great that I can trust Ezekiel to take him for a spin down the street in his power wheels and bring him back! They stick together, and between him and ever-attentive Eden, he is very well cared for during the times I have to tend to Kamelia.
We wonder sometimes if they get tired of everyone asking our family about how Kami's doing and how we're adjusting. If they're within earshot, I try to circle the conversation quickly to how kind and helpful Ezekiel and Eden have been. If you see us and stop to chat, here's one way you can help us: instead of asking about Kamelia first, you could ask Ezekiel what model train he's saving up for. I'm sure he'd like to talk about something besides his new sister, and if you bring up trains, he will probably feel special and think very highly of you! And you could talk with Eden about ponies, stickers, butterflies, unicorns, or princesses...she is a little harder to pin down than Ezekiel in terms of interests.
After all of the posts about Kamelia, I wanted to dedicate this one to our three precious children who joined our family before she did. They've made sacrifices in which they had very little say, and we're trusting God to bless them spiritually, emotionally, mentally and even physically through the changes. In talking with their little friends (and some who are not so little) over the last couple of years, we've realized how very few children even know what an orphanage is. To be honest, all I knew about it at their age was that it was where Penny lived in the Disney movie "The Rescuers"! Sometimes families who homeschool can wrestle with the idea and the accusation of "sheltering" their children. When I think of a shelter, I think of refuge in a storm. Shelter is a good thing. We choose to shelter our children from many evil things because we love them and want to equip them for healthy, whole, fruitful, productive lives. However, we have not sheltered them from the sight of suffering. Bringing an abandoned, abused and neglected child to live in their home, eat at their table, and play with their toys has brought them face to face with the ugly evils wreaked by child abandonment. They've seen things in their own home that would at best surprise and at worst terrify most children their age. What frightened them months ago doesn't even make them skip a beat or bat an eyelash now because they understand what happened to Kami and why she is the way she is. They also are watching the love of Christ begin to transform her from the inside out before their very eyes. I am so very proud of our 5-, 3- and 1-year-old blessings as they learn lessons that many adults will never understand. I pray that they can look back on this change in their family with gratitude to God and view it as a blessing.
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