seven

It's incredible to me that this little man staring his brand new parents in the face is now seven years old. Mason and I have been parents for seven years! Seven is a special number to me. Biblically it's a number of wholeness and completeness. As a "number person," it's special to me in various ways. I was an Air Force kid for 7 years, and I was an Air Force wife for 7 years. When we had been married 7 years, we adopted Kami, who was 7 years old. Even cooler was the fact that we picked her up on 7/28/14, which is exciting because the month, day and year are all multiples of 7...okay, I know; I'm taking this a little far for you non-number people.

The day Ezekiel was born was the day that most radically changed our lives. Going from non-parents to parents was a huge transition! Ezekiel taught us more than any of our other children about what it meant to parent. He taught us that our lives were no longer ours (as if they ever had been). He taught us that we were more selfish than we imagined, and that no book could prepare us for raising a child. As the firstborn, he gets a special blessing, in part because of all the mistakes we made with him that we didn't make with later children! For example, I irrationally believed that this tiny baby boy who had spent almost a year inside of my body would be just fine sleeping alone in his own bed. I stayed up long hours with him trying to get him to sleep where I thought he should sleep. We battled and had needless showdowns over this issue. By the time his little sister was born, we had grown a bit wiser. We simply cozied her up in our bed at one day old, where she slept with us happily until she was ready to have her own space. I should have just tucked Ezekiel in next to me and called it a night, but my 23-year-old self had no idea this was even an option. I had read the wrong books, but I didn't figure that out until after making plenty of rookie mistakes. We share with Ezekiel often about the biblical blessing of the firstborn and why it can be a tough spot in the family, deserving extra honor and recognition. (Can you tell we're trying to circumvent some of the typical "firstborn problems"?)

Ezekiel made me a lovely picture for Mother's Day. He showed it to me with great care and seriousness, and it's very special to me because as his homeschool teacher I know that 1) he doesn't usually enjoy writing and 2) he doesn't usually enjoy creating art. He made this picture at a Trail Life meeting with Mason, where all of the boys made cards for their moms. Mason said Ezekiel was focused and excited about making this for me, making it all the more precious. It didn't take long for me to notice that his hand-drawn family was missing a member. He named off each of the five members, and I admired every aspect of it before casually asking him where Kami was. He said that he ran out of room. This does not make the picture any less special to me, but I did want to share it with you because it illustrates Ezekiel's relationship with Kami. He has been a trooper and a rock star of a sibling over the past 2 years since gaining his adopted sister. It's been hard, and a lesser boy would have crumbled under the kinds of events he witnessed in his home. Because it's been so hard, he doesn't quite see her as an integral part of the family yet. And that's okay. I love Ezekiel for who he is, and one thing he is: honest. It's an honor to watch him work out his feelings as he observes the miracles of adoption and healing take place in his home.

As Kami continues to make great strides in her growth, everyone's relationship with her is changing. Eden and Isaiah recently decided that "she's a good girl" and that they love her. They've always felt warmly towards her, but once their stalwart efforts to teach her to hug them finally paid off, the deal was sealed. They love her. Ezekiel has required some firm encouragement to speak life to Kami, but as the oldest, he has also been much more cognizant of the trauma involved and consequently formed some judgments about her. We have seen his heart soften toward her in recent weeks and are proud of him for choosing wisely in those moments of decision!

Ezekiel's personality is multidimensional if there ever was one. If I were to pick one word to describe him, it would be warrior: "a person engaged or experienced in warfare; soldier, a person who shows or has shown great vigor, courage, or aggressiveness." It's interesting to note that our last name means "warring, of war, warlike (martial)." This makes him a warring/warlike warrior, to be redundantly descriptive. It's a fitting word picture. Ezekiel is driven by passion. He can be fiercely strong-willed, compassionately caring, uproariously funny, or sullen and silent. He will serve sacrificially, exercise protective caution, and harass rebelliously. Ezekiel has many faces. He is a man of great emotion, yet you won't see it unless you know him well. He is far from an open book - only a chosen few will see his personality in full brilliance (like his daddy). But in his moments of decision, he is deeply motivated by warfare. At an early age he was fighting and winning battles against fear in God's strength. The meaning of his name is "God strengthens." He struggled with extreme anxiety when he was two and three, and he remembers the deliverance.

As a baby he may have been described by some as serious, melancholy, demanding or fussy, and he could be those things; but mostly he was thoughtful. He has always been careful and wise for a boy of his age. His listening skills are incredible (again, like his daddy). Discipline-wise, the armor of God and the spiritual battle for the soul have been the only effective means of communication to his heart. Ezekiel is a very physical boy in terms of learning, showing affection, and playing. Because I've known him the longest of all our children, he's most difficult for me to try to wrap up in a concise description. Maybe the pictures will portray what words can't. Though sometimes his behavior makes us want to beat our heads against the wall, we're grateful God chose us to be his parents and are eager to see what God does with his life! We've enjoyed these long, delightful, challenging, and rewarding first seven years of parenting you, Ezekiel! :)