questions...

I appreciate questions. So does Mason. Especially when they're honest, inquisitive questions about topics that aren't addressed often enough. Like ADOPTION!

Over the last several weeks since our big announcement, we've gotten all sorts of questions (as well as a few horror stories to which we paid no attention) about our adoption. Why, how, when, who, and all that good stuff. Since the last thing we want to do is make a huge announcement, ask for your support, and then drop off the face of the earth because we're too busy to give you updates, I am stealing a few minutes to give you just that: an update on the process and answers to a few common questions. The reason I really want to address questions on our blog is because several friends have said they're considering adopting and just have no idea what it looks like, and want to know everything! Well, Mason and I are the kind of people who really will share everything with you. It is a daunting process, but now that we're getting started it's easier to get a grip on, and we commit to share everything from timelines to finances with you (as time allows - it is amazing that I've had the time to type this paragraph alone, with Eden's fondness for waking up every 30 minutes this time of night!).

Our latest update is that we scheduled our home study for Feb. 20th. YAY! This is a huge step. After our initial agency application, phone interview, paperwork set, and payment, all to Lifeline, we chose a local social worker who would be willing to do our home study. She will be traveling to us from Louisiana Baptist Children's Home in Monroe. Our first payment, by the way, was $2062.50, plus our application fee of $250, so you can see we're just a couple thousand dollars in (plus a few dollars for faxes and mailing). But a journey of several thousand dollars begins with the first couple thousand! Money is honestly not a big deal to us. It's God's money, not ours, so although we work to be good stewards of what He's entrusted to us, we're not possessive of the details of how we direct it.

When Ashley, our local social worker, comes for the home study, she will spend several hours at our house interviewing Mason and me together and separately and inspecting our home for safety. She will also require a myriad of documents, including birth certificates, social security cards, bank statements, tax returns, and much more. This part of the adoption process has aptly been called "the great paper chase." At this point, it definitely pays to have documents from the past filed and well-organized! I will post a rundown of how the home study went after it happens. At that meeting, we'll owe Ashley $750, with another identical installment to be paid when she finishes compiling the home study, which brings the home study total itself to $1500. This is not including post-placement visits, which happen after we bring our son home, or the Lifeline fee for using a non Hague-accredited agency (the Hague Convention determines standards for intercountry adoption, and though Ashley is a reputable social worker who has worked with Lifeline before, her agency is not specifically Hague accredited, so we will owe a review fee to Lifeline to make sure everything falls in line with regulations). You friends who are adoptive parents know way better than I do what the completed home study will look like, but I believe she'll need a few weeks to finish the study after our interview day - because, for example, she'll need to wait to receive the results from our FBI fingerprinting, which we plan on doing this week or next. If you would like a prayer point, one is definitely God's blessing on home study day: that He would provide the perfect helper to watch Ezekiel and Eden during the joint interview, and that we would all be healthy and well-behaved that day!

After the home study is completed, we'll begin working with Lifeline on our dossier (it looks like it rhymes with Bossier, for you Louisiana people, but it doesn't). That is basically a huge packet of information on our family, which will be sent to Peru and translated so that the Central Authority there can match us with a child in the orphanage Lifeline works with. You've heard me mention our son, and although we haven't gotten far enough in the process to have a referral for a child, we are indicating a boy on our Desired Child Form. The reason is that Mason and I feel strongly that the LORD has a son for us next, mostly because He has given us a name already. He did the same thing with Ezekiel and Eden - only gave us the name for a child of the gender He had already chosen for us. That said, we are certainly not averse to having another daughter, and if we're somehow mistaken about the boy, God will let us know! Basically, I dream about the day we get our referral like the day you find out you're pregnant, or the day you see your baby's ultrasound image for the first time, or find out their gender, or the day you give birth. It's kind of like all that wrapped up in one, when I think about us receiving the right referral. Sometimes a family receives multiple referrals before they accept one, but we are praying that the first referral is the right child for our family, and that we are the right parents for them. Please join us in that prayer!!! Also, the child will be at least 18 months old. In Peru, it is illegal for a child younger than that to be adopted outside the country. We are thrilled at the idea of welcoming another toddler into our home! I'm brushing up on my Spanish so I will hopefully be able to communicate at the 2-3 year old level. ;) Generally, the younger the child, the higher the level of special needs they have. We are open to anyone younger than Ezekiel (so anyone born after 5/2009), because we feel Ezekiel deserves to remain the firstborn and receive the special privileges and standing that should accompany that spot in the family. He did make us parents, after all!

On the Desired Child Form, we will be marking many conditions as either "acceptable" or "not acceptable." This is so difficult, because God didn't give us a DCF to fill out for Ezekiel or Eden. The conditions range from asthma to Down's Syndrome, from club foot to wheelchair-bound. Mason and I have been praying over this list for weeks now and I think if we had to fill it out today, we could do it confidently. There are some conditions we don't feel we can handle, especially with the reality that Mason's job will have him away from home from time to time, but there are also many conditions that we could readily accept and use our health insurance to correct! So we feel it's fair and good to tell you, our family and friends, that our next child absolutely could have missing fingers or toes, club hands or feet, mild heart conditions, large birthmarks, deafness in one ear or blindness in one eye, and the list goes on...isn't it crazy to be made so aware of these possibilities? While I was pregnant nobody ever told me to be ready for them, but they could have happened just the same. I won't be surprised if we end up better prepared as parents for this child than we were the first two times! One of my dear friends encouraged me by saying she would pray for us to have God's eyes, not ours, as we mark that form. I so appreciate her wisdom - He'll give us eyes and hearts for the child HE desires us to have.

Okay, I'm searching my mental database for other questions we've received...oh! Here's one. Can we have any more children "of our own" (I don't like that designation because each of our children, including adopted ones, will be our own), meaning can we get pregnant again? Yes, as far as we know. We have talked about having another biological child in the future, maybe, but we are purposefully avoiding that eventuality at this time...not sure how to phrase that appropriately! But, in answering that question, I want to be very clear that we fully respect the sanctity of life, which begins at conception. I realize this is a touchy subject, but that's never made a difference for us in the past, and as always, if you don't like what I have to say, you are welcome to navigate away from this page. :) Our decisions about family planning are based on the truths expressed here:  http://www.abort73.com/abortion_facts/which_birth_control_methods_cause_abortion/ 

Well, now that we have that out in the open, I think I've covered most of the big questions we've received in the last couple of months! We so appreciate our friends' and families' excitement and curiosity. We're at least as excited and curious ourselves as we embark on this great adventure! If I can try to condense what we've learned so far, yes, adoption is very expensive, but the expenses come in increments. We aren't forking over $30,000 all in the same day, week, month, or even year. The whole process could take about 24 months, and although it could be shorter or longer, the expenses are staggered across that period. We do have a t-shirt fundraiser going, and there's even a button on this page for it, if you just really want to be a part of bringing our 3rd child home. :) If you just want to be a part of it by praying for him, that's awesome too! We're also learning to be patient and trust fully in God's timing and sovereignty over every detail. Mason's next deployment is an unknown, but we're praying and trusting that He will time it perfectly with the adoption, since both Mason and I will need to be present together in Peru for 2 weeks, with at least one of us staying another 2 weeks before we bring our child home with us.

THANK YOU for coming alongside us in love and support! There are a few very special readers that I have in mind while writing these updates, faithful friends whose excitement truly matches ours and who really get why we're doing this. So grateful to have these people in our lives!

"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." - Philippians 1:6