Immeasurably More

This short entry below from a few weeks ago never got posted.

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ways the Creator of the universe participated intimately in my life today:

- Ezekiel's been having a hard time with bathtime (an off-and-on problem since birth) and left the bathroom crying "I can't do it. I can't do it." He went to his room while I bathed Eden, she and I asked God to give Ezekiel peace to take a bath and get clean (this was day 2 without a bath, meaning unacceptably sticky and grimy). Minutes later he walked calmly around the corner saying "I'm ready for my bath," got in, had fun and stayed in past his bedtime.

- Sunday night he got a new talking Thomas toy as a prized incentive to stop a fit and behave well at our friends' house for Easter dinner. As of Monday afternoon, it's been misplaced (that's over 24 hours, which is about how long it takes for almost 3-year-old Ezekiel to resign himself to the idea he may never see it again). After I got the children in bed and the downstairs picked up, I asked God to please show me where this silly little train was, to His honor and glory because He sure knows I don't have my act together even enough to keep track of this tiny little detail. After another thorough search I did what I had already done earlier today - remove the cushions from the couch - and there it was. Victory! God cares about Thomas the Train. There you have it.

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AND I will start today's entry off by adding a way the Creator the universe participated intimately in my life TODAY.

This has been a long and somewhat challenging week, as is always the case for those taking full-time care of children who aren't feeling their best. There was little contact with the outside world, and I shared with Mason last night how I could tell that God was removing everything I tended to depend on this week to remind me to depend on Him. Friends were mysteriously barren from the playground or didn't pick up their phones, and Mason's hours seemed long and late. Today, Thursday, I normally go with the children to a Bible study here on base where they play in a separate room while I meet with other women. It's a time we all mostly look forward to, despite their general aversion to being dropped off anywhere. Well, they weren't feeling up to going this morning, and I was bummed about that. Not sure how I was going to salvage another day kicking around the house dealing with tantrums about eye drops, I was grateful to Mason for promising me a night out at a friend's house. He had planned to meet with a friend of his for dinner, but he kindly deferred to my mental health and gave the night to me. Great husband! Anyway, I asked God what we should do with our morning, and I then had the idea to go to the BX - we needed diapers and some cheap fun to be found in the toy section. It was truly a fun trip, and we picked checkout line #4, manned by a lady whose nametag read Miss Annie. We'd seen her before and she's always very kind and loving to the children, paying them equal if not more attention than she gives me as the paying customer. I really like people like her. Today after greeting Ezekiel & Eden she looked me square in the eye and said "I'm glad you stay home with them." She's an engaging black woman who is probably in her 50s or 60s. Her speech was like a fountain of encouragement to me, and I can't remember all the things she said, just the general exhortation: YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING IMPORTANT. She spoke about the responsibility of raising children up in the instruction of the LORD, and when she paused I stated that her children must be amazing and very blessed to have been trained under her. She then explained to me that she never had any children of her own, though she wanted 4 boys, but that God made her a spiritual mother to many through mentoring men, women, children, fathers, mothers, families, coworkers, and anyone else who needed it. She also referred to her job there as "fishing for souls." About 5 minutes into our conversation other customers entered the line behind me and we had to move on, but I had tears in my eyes by the time she closed with, "I took a good look at them [E&E] before I said anything to you, and I can tell you stay home with them. You pour your love into them, and I can see it in their eyes." What an encouragement from heaven. We'll be looking for Miss Annie every time we check out at the BX from now on.

Something else I've been thinking about lately...I'm amazed at how wildly my relationship with God can fluctuate. Up and down, left and right, close and far, trusting and worried. He doesn't change, I do. He is so patient and always there when I come to my end. Yesterday He answered us with an awesome deed, which led me to search out more about this awesomeness of his. He led me to Psalm 65 and 66, which I can't stop looking at. I want to leave them open on my counter to read every day as I walk through the house. Verses 5-8 of 65 say:

"You answer us with awesome deeds of righteousness, O God our Savior, the hope of all the ends of the earth and of the farthest seas, who formed the mountains by your power, having armed yourself with strength, who stilled the roaring of the seas, the roaring of their waves, and the turmoil of the nations. Those living far away fear your wonders; where morning dawns and evening fades you call forth songs of joy."

I can't verbalize what God's been showing me about prayer lately because I don't have access to adequate words. There was this huge period of celebration not long ago when I saw Him doing things I and others had long been asking of Him, but then after that was this lull in my spiritual life, like I had forgotten the mightiness I had just witnessed and decided that it was just over and wasn't going to happen again. How wrong, and how odd; we're dealing with the God of the universe who is continually at work. Even with the adoption I hit a lull, forgetting about Isaiah some days and neglecting to pray for him. May I not lose sight of the awesome deeds God's doing when they happen to take more than the short length of time for which I can pay close attention! Maybe this is why we're to "Say to God, 'How awesome are your deeds!'" (Ps. 66:3) 

"Come and see what God has done, how awesome his works in man's behalf!" v. 5

"Praise our God, O peoples, let the sound of his praise be heard; he has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping." v. 9

Not because He forgot how great He is, but to remind myself of what He's done and what He's doing, whether or not I can see it. As it would happen, Ashley e-mailed me today that she sent the draft of our home study to Beth for review. This is a huge step, because once our Texas child abuse clearance comes back and the study is finalized, we'll be ready to move on to the next step in the adoption process: more paperwork and developing the file that will be sent to Peru on our behalf. We're still trusting God to work out all the timing of the adoption with our upcoming deployment. In Isaiah's native language...

El Señor Todopoderoso ha jurado: 
      Tal como lo he planeado, se cumplirá; 
      tal como lo he decidido, se realizará.  - Isaías 14:24